


Forever and Always

by ArchangelAmvs



Series: The Forever and Always Saga [1]
Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series, Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-02-16 14:30:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2273307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchangelAmvs/pseuds/ArchangelAmvs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This is their forever and always."  These are the stories of Asami and Akihito as they deal with the sweet moments and dangerous trials that a Yakuza and his Husband are sure to face...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Engagement

Akihito smiled it was five years ago today that he and Asami had met, and though their meeting wasn't under the best circumstances, everything that came after was more than worth celebrating. 

Akihito looked at the clock, in two hours Asami would be home and they would celebrate with a candle light dinner made by Akihito. It was a surprise and he had already talked to Kirishima to find out when Asami would be home. Akihito had spent most of the day working on their romantic evening. Since he had the day off, the house was cleaned and his plan was ready for action. As he started making dinner, he went over his plan and check list and smiled. This would definitely work...

Two hours later...

Asami walked into the penthouse right on time. Akihito walked around the corner wiping his hands on an apron he wore around his waist. He had bought it two months ago because he was tired of sauce stains from cooking and Asami was tired of him wiping his hands on his pants.  
"Not that flour stains on that hot ass isn't attractive but at this rate you won't be walking anytime soon," Asami had joked.

Akihito smiled at the memory "Welcome home Ryuichi, dinner will be ready soon," said Akihito as he took his briefcase and jacket.

"I ran a bath for you. Why don't you go get washed up?"

"Thanks that sounds great," Asami smiled and gave Akihito a chaste kiss as he walked by and headed for the bathroom. Only after the door closed did Akihito head back to the kitchen. He had to act fast, Akihito grabbed the candles and vase from the kitchen counter and quickly took them to the table. After lighting the candles, Akihito put the vase with exactly five red roses on the table. Akihito still remembered how this tradition was started...

It was their second anniversary, and Asami was about to pick Akihito up to take him to dinner when Akihito heard a knock on the door. He couldn't help but smile and run to open the door. There stood Asami in his usual three piece suit holding two red roses "one rose for every year I have cared about you." It was the most romantic thing Akihito had ever heard...

It wasn't until the next day, that he learned Asami had bought a dozen roses but Souh had sat on them in the car and only two survived. To this day, it still shocked him that Asami had come up with those romantic words on the fly. With the table set and dinner finished Akihito went and changed into a suit. He doesn't usually wear them but today was an exception. Having finished changing, Akihito went to wait in the living room. He didn't have to wait long. About two minutes later, Asami comes out of the bath wearing a dress shirt and pants. Akihito knows he isn't going anywhere because he wasn't wearing socks or a tie and the top two buttons of his shirt were undone. 

Asami smiled "What's all this?"

"What, did you think I would forget our anniversary?" Akihito remarked.

"No, but I didn't expect anything like this," Asami answered.

Akihito stood up from the table and hugged Asami "Happy anniversary Ryuichi."

Then they sat down and ate the Lemon Pepper Shrimp on a bed of linguini Akihito had made from scratch.  
After dinner, Asami surprised Akihito by getting up and standing next to him, "Akihito, I know I don't say it much and I know that I'm not the easiest to get along with... I know we will have our arguments and bumps in the road whether it be because of my position, your job or one of us, most likely me, saying something stupid. But Akihito even though I don't say it much I do love you. You own my heart and even though it may be hard and black in places, it is still yours to heal or destroy if you so choose. What I'm trying to say Akihito...." 

Asami gets down on one knee and Akihito can't help but gasp tears welling up in his eyes.

".... is would you allow me to love you not just now but for forever and always? Akihito will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me so we can belong to each other for the rest of eternity?" With that Asami smiled and pulled out a platinum ring with his insignia carved into the front.  
"Oh Ryuichi, of course I will... I will love you for the rest of forever!" With that, Akihito threw himself into Asami's arms and kissed him. The moment they broke the kiss, Asami slid the ring onto Akihito's finger but not before showing him the words carved inside... Ryuichi a small rose and Akihito it was enough to make him want to cry. Instead he kissed him again and looked into his eyes. 

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” Akihito asked. 

Asami smiled “Yes, I think I do.”

Akihito smiled “No, you don’t but I’m about to show you, all night long.”

Asami smirked “I look forward to it...” 

With that said, Asami picked Akihito up bridal style and carried him to their bed, shutting the door with his foot. Akihito’s screams of ectasy could be heard for most of the night as they showed each other exactly how much they loved each other.  
These are their stories, their adventures, their forever and always.


	2. Fundraising and Lunch

Six months later Akihito was sitting in Asami’s lap. They had been married three months and Akihito still couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach not to mention the swell of pride he got whenever he thought ‘Ryuichi Asami is my husband’ or whenever he heard his new name, Akihito Asami, which Ryuichi made it a point to call him especially in the first few weeks. 

They were on their way to a benefit dinner for cancer research. Akihito knew Asami could probably care less about the dinner. He only donated to the research because a childhood friend had died of cancer before he was twenty. Akihito snuggled a little closer to Asami's chest. He was wearing one of the suits Asami had ordered especially for him.

"Don't worry. We probably won't be staying long. Just 'til after the speech, then we can leave," Asami told him.

Akihito looked up at him "I thought you said you hate the Chairman's speech because he has recycled the same speech three years in a row?"

"I do. However, the paparazzi are only allowed to take pictures after the speech and I want to show you off to the world," Asami whispered.

Akihito nodded "Aww, you're the sweetest ever!"

With that Akihito closed his eyes and listened to Asami's heartbeat because it was one of his favorite things to do. Asami's heartbeat was strong and soothing, always managing to calm him down. He had been lulled to sleep by that heartbeat more night's than he could possibly count.

All too soon, they arrived at their destination and Akihito had to relinquish his spot on Asami's lap. Akihito took a deep breath before smiling at Asami and giving him a nod. Having gotten the signal from Akihito, Asami knocked on the window and the driver opened the door. By the time he stepped out of the limo, Asami had replaced his rare smile with a mask of indifference. Akihito exited the limo and stepped to Asami's right. Asami held out his hand for Akihito. Akihito placed his hand in Asami's and they walked in together.

As the night wore on, Akihito realized why Asami disliked these events so much. Most of the people here were rich snobs who believed Akihito to be beneath them. Thus, they tried to ignore his presence. In those cases, Asami would introduce Akihito as his better half and politely excuse themselves without a second thought. Thankfully the Chairman's speech was drawing to a close and they would finally be going home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning...  
Akihito awoke with a yawn rolling over to find the other side of the bed empty. He couldn't help but smile at the affectionate note Asami had left on his pillow. It was simple and sweet and said  
"Aki, good morning. Don't make any plans for lunch and I'll send Suoh to pick you up. Love, R" 

Akihito reached for his phone on the bedside table. Seeing that it was already 11:30, he decided to text Asami.

[Good morning Ryu, I read your note, getting in the shower now.]

Within a minute, he received a reply.

[Ok, I look forward to getting you messy again. Suoh will be there in 15 minutes to pick you up.]

Akihito sent back,

[Sure I can't wait to see you]

Akihito threw his phone on the bed and went to take a quick shower. Within twenty minutes, he was ready and found Suoh waiting in the living room when he came out of the bedroom.

"Hey Suoh, I hope you weren't waiting long." Akihito greeted.

"No, not long at all, are you ready?" Suoh asked.

"Yup." Akihito answered with a smile before following Suoh out of the penthouse and down to an awaiting car....

Akihito couldn't help but smile. Suoh, Kirishima and he had become good friends in the years since Akihito had met Asami. When they'd first met, Akihito thought they were going to kill him. When they were alone, like now, Akihito rode in the front seat instead of the back. 

"So, Suoh when is your date with that sexy playmate you met at Scion?” Akihito asked.

"Well, I'm having trouble getting time off so probably not anytime soon." Suoh replied.

"What!! I swear my husband can be so clueless. Have you asked for a night off yet?" Akihito asked.

"Well, I was about to but, then he sent a memo that until further notice no one was getting time off." Suoh answered.

"Still, you haven't asked for time off in the past five years that I've known you. The same goes for Kirishima. I'll have a talk with Asami. So, when would you like to go on that date?" Akihito wondered.

"Well, I was thinking Friday night but I figured I'd have to cancel after I dropped you off." replied Suoh.

"Don't! I'll talk to Asami and get you the night off." Akihito assured.

"Thanks, Akihito that would be great." Suoh sounded relieved.

Akihito just smiled and nodded thinking to himself 'If Asami doesn't agree to it right away I'll have to think of a special way to get what I want. Something I haven't used before. After all, Suoh deserves a night off.' 

Before long they had made it to the restaurant where Akihito was meeting Asami. 

Akihito smiled "Thanks Suoh, I'll see you later when you come to get me?" 

"Yup, I'll be here," Suoh assured.

With that, Akihito got out of the car and walked into the restaurant. He saw Asami sitting at a table by the window. He walked over and sat in the seat across from him.

"Hi, have you been waiting long?" Akihito greeted. 

"No, you're only a little late" Asami teased.

Akihito couldn't help but roll his eyes "So what is it this time?" he asked

"What do you mean, do I need a reason to take my husband out for lunch?" Asami questioned.

"No, but let's face it Ryu, you're a very busy man. So the only reason you would have time for lunch or even a call during the day would be because Kirishima must be killing you with boring paperwork. Judging from the length of your texts, you were looking for an escape," Akihito explained.

"Well, maybe that was part of the reason, but mainly I just wanted to see you." Asami said.

Akihito laughed "Alright you got me there, and since we have a minute before the food arrives, I have a favor to ask. Can you give Suoh Friday night off?"

"That's a strange request. Why do you ask?"

"Well, he had a hot date set up for this Friday until you issued your 'No time off decree'. He doesn't want to disappoint you and ask for the night off," Akihito explained

"Well, I did release a memo saying no time off for the foreseeable future…" Asami stated.

"Yeah, but neither Suoh nor Kirishima have asked for a day off in over five years, and I think Suoh deserves the night off." Akihito reasoned.

"I understand, but if I give Suoh the night off, then I'll have to give Kirishima a night off as well..." Asami pointed out.

"So give them both the night off. Kirishima's wife, Ayako, has been wanting to spend time with him anyway." Akihito pleaded. 

"But that means my two best men would be gone for the night. We would be on our own." Asami teased. 

"Ok, now for my trump card." Akihito thought.

"Yea, but think about it. You could give yourself the night off and spend some quality time with me ... all night long." Akihito added suggestively.

Asami's face lit up for a second and he gave Akihito one of his rare heart melting smiles "Now that, my darling Akihito, sounds like a plan."

Akihito smiled knowing he probably wouldn't be able to walk most of the weekend and looking forward to every moment of it.

~~~~~~~~~ 

All too soon the meal was drawing to a close and it was time for Asami to go back to work. Akihito couldn't help but chuckle. 

"What is it?" Asami asked.

"Well, you've got a little... here let me help." Akihito grabbed his napkin and wiped some sauce from Asami's chin. "There that's better."

Asami chuckled quietly "Thanks."

"Well, it would be hard to look badass with sauce on your chin." Akihito teased

"It would be a challenge, but not impossible." Asami said

Akihito smiled "Have a nice day at work, I'll see you tonight."

"Ok I'll..." before Asami could finish his sentence Kirishima pulled up in a limo.

"I'm sorry sir, but an important matter has come up and you are needed right away." Kirishima informed him.

Asami looked at Akihito with an almost guilty look but Akihito just shook his head. "It's alright go, it sounds like they need you.. And besides Suoh will be here to pick me up soon anyway."

With that Akihito gave Asami a hug and whispered in his ear "Make sure to let them know about their night off."

Asami nodded and got in his car before Kirishima drove away....

About five minutes later Akihito's phone started ringing...

"Hello." 

"Akihito thank you, I just got a call from Kirishima and we both have Friday night off!" Suoh thanked in an excited voice.

"No problem Suoh like I said you both deserve it." 

"Akihito I'm less than 5 minutes away, ok?" Akihito heard from the phone.

"Sure, I'll see you then, bye” Akihito smiled and started thinking about what he wanted to cook for the week while he waited for Suoh, Akihito smiled life was amazing.


	3. important authors note

Hi there everyone, I just thought I would post a quick authors note because I noticed some people were confused to see Forever and Always updated. I decided to rewrite Forever and Always and remove the major character death, mainly because during the course of hiatus of this story I found myself in a relationship of my own that went very south and I needed a happy ending in some of my stories to feel better and it was just easiest to do it here. I will most likely post the original major character death eventually as part of the saga maybe as a one shot with a companion multi chapter but the original will likely turn into a one shot collection with plenty of fluff with possibly some suspense and smut as we follow them through their married life. I’m sorry if this is disappointing to some of you but I felt like I had enough angst in my other two stories and I needed somewhere to be light and funny and happy.   
Thanks for all your amazing Kudos, favorites, follows, and reviews  
Angel


	4. Akihito on ice part one

Winter had bathed Tokyo in a fresh snowfall, the world a near endless sea of white from the view from Asami’s penthouse window, Christmas time was almost upon them and Akihito had decorated the penthouse including a huge tree for what would be Asami and his first Christmas since getting married.

Akihito looked around the penthouse again turning his back on the large windows and sighed everything was perfect the cookies had been baked, the tree trimmed and decorated, the presents wrapped and arranged on a skirt that depicted falling snowflakes. Everything was perfect except that Akihito hadn’t seen his husband in over a week. 

He would get a text message from Ryuichi when he woke up and another before he went to bed but Ryuichi hadn’t left the office in over a week. Kirishima was ordering in all their food and had even told Akihito not to come when Akihito had offered to bring them lunch. The reason behind this you may ask is a man named Chihiro Ryugazaki a small time drug dealer, turned arms dealer, who thought he could rule Tokyo and had yet to discover he was dangerously out of his league. Which had escalated into a war between Ryuichi the ruling Yakuza and Ryugazaki the wannabe, when the man Asami sent to peacefully call Ryugazaki to heel had returned to Ryuichi in pieces.

Akihito was put under house arrest shortly after that and now Ryuichi was trying to stop the attempted hostile takeover. Sadly Ryugazaki managed to keep a lot of weapons from his dealer days and Asami’s men were having trouble combating his high tech extreme fire power.   
Everyday Asami stayed out of contact Akihito could feel their relationship strain and even attempting to contact him over the phone for a minute before bed lead to Akihito being snapped at and told in no uncertain terms to leave him alone. Akihito heard his phone ding from where he had put it on the coffee table. 

He picked up the cell phone and checked the message [Won’t be coming tonight, don’t wait up]

Akihito sighed sadly and looked around the merry and empty house feeling like he had aged a hundred years. He walked back to their room and smelled Asami’s pillow, tears welling in his eyes when he realized the pillow he snuggled with every night so he could keep Asami’s smell close didn’t smell like Asami anymore. Their wedding photo stood on the table seemingly mocking his loneliness with the blatant happiness on their faces as Asami scooped him up bridal style both laughing. In that moment the isolation and emptiness of the house was suffocating and Akihito felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Akihito grabbed his phone and hit the number one on his speed dial placing the phone by his ear with a trembling hand when Asami’s photo popped up. It rang for a few seemingly endless seconds Akihito’s body trembling nearly uncontrollably as he waited for his husband to answer the phone. 

The dialing sound and his heartbeat were the only thing that existed in that moment before Akihito heard Asami’s voice come on the line “Akihito I told you I’m busy and can’t talk to you right now.”

Akihito smiled not truly registering what Asami was saying Asami’s voice a cool balm to what had been a painful wound. “Ryu, I was hoping maybe you could find time to come home tonight, just for a few minutes! You must be tired of wearing the same suit and I made dinner maybe-“

Akihito was cut off with an irritated sigh “I thought we had been over this Akihito, until this issue is solved I don’t have time to leave. I was hoping you would be more understanding just get some sleep the faster I finish this the faster I can come home.” Akihito felt tears fall from his eyes his breath hitching at his husbands scolding and dismissive tone. 

“But when, when will it be over it’s been almost three weeks!” Akihito asked desperation leaking into his tone. “I haven’t seen you in three weeks, you told the guards not to let me out and not to come inside unless I was in danger. I haven’t seen another human being in three weeks Ryuichi! And I can’t even go to them considering the guards that were stationed here were called back to headquarters two weeks ago!” 

Asami sighed again “Look I don’t have time for this.” Before Akihito could say anything else he heard a click and then a dial tone Akihito hung up the phone and was immediately struck by how silent everything was the walls felt like they were closing in and for a moment Akihito wondered if he screamed would anyone hear him. 

Akihito felt himself start to hyperventilate and knew he was starting to have a panic attack he quickly redialed Asami and hoped when he heard him panicking he would come home. Akihito felt his heart shatter when after two rings the phone went to voice mail.   
When the voice mail started recording Akihito broke down sobbing “Ryu I need you, I’ve been so alone. I think I’m going crazy in here, I know I promised I wouldn’t leave but, but Ryu I can’t breathe! It hurts, and I can’t breathe! The house doesn’t smell like you anymore and I’m always alone just me and the ticking clock and the dying Christmas tree! Ryu, I- I”

A harsh sob cut off Akihito’s next words and the voice recorder told him he had run out of time Akihito decided to finish his sentence on paper and wrote a note to leave on Asami’s pillow.

Akihito looked back at his phone and pressed two one his speed dial hoping that his old friend would pick up it was only a few seconds before Akihito heard a male voice pick up on the other end still sobbing Akihito said quietly “You were right, I want to come home.”

Three hours since he had ignored Akihito’s call Asami pulled himself out of work long enough to check his voicemail. Asami had been working himself ragged lately and he knew it, but the war with Ryugazaki had heated up when attached to one of Asami’s dismembered men was a photo of Akihito in the cross hairs of a rifle sight. Asami felt his blood run cold and had immediately called his men to Sion ordering them to eliminate Ryugazaki and his organization before they became even more of a threat.

It never even occurred to Asami that he was hurting Akihito more than the enemy by isolating him. Asami played the voicemail Akihito left and froze when he heard Akihito’s panicked sobs, the voicemail stopped in the middle of a sentence and Asami could feel dread tying his stomach into knots. Asami stood from his desk and hurried out of his office gathering Kirishima and Souh on the way. 

Souh quickly drove them to the penthouse and Asami couldn’t stop himself from running to the elevator then running down the hallway that the elevator let out on coming to a stop in his living room. The lights had been turned down the Christmas tree twinkling in the corner innocently, but what caused Asami’s dread to grow was the silence. The penthouse, once full of life and laughter seemed like a tomb and he felt a shiver race down his spine.

He walked into their bedroom and turned on a light hoping to find Akihito asleep in bed instead the bed was made and there sitting innocently on his pillow as a note. The note was short five simple words but Asami felt tears spill down his cheeks and something in him die when he read them. Because sitting there on his pillow written on tearstained parchment where the words. “I can’t do this anymore…”

“No Akihito.” Asami whispered to the silent room before running to the closet feeling even worse when he saw that most of Akihito’s things were gone. 

Asami went back to Souh and Kirishima Akihito’s note clutched in his hand. “Akihito isn’t here, I want to know when he left and where his last known location was.”

Kirishima nodded quickly walking away already making phone calls to see where Asami’s bank account was last accessed since Ryuichi and Akihito now shared bank accounts. While Souh laid a comforting hand on Asami’s shoulder before saying simply “Let’s go access the security feed.”

Asami nodded still somewhat in shock he never actually thought Akihito would leave sure he had threatened to in the beginning of their relationship and even attempted to run away a few times though he later revealed he just wanted Asami to chase him. Souh saw his friends distress and sighed “We will find him Ryuichi and then you can grovel and apologize or whatever it takes to make things right. After all Ryuichi you and everyone else that works for you knows you may be the mind of this organization but he has become the heart. For both the organization and you, and we can’t exist without him anymore.”

Asami merely nodded in response they headed down to the room with the video footage and hoped to piece together exactly where Akihito went too.

Akihito gathered his bag when the private jet landed stepping out onto the stairs that lead him to the tarmac and took a moment to breathe in the icy air. “Akihito!” Akihito looked down when he heard someone call his name and smiled when he saw Mikhail standing beside an expensive Mercedes Akihito smiled and waved at Mikhail when he made it down beside him he pulled him into a hug before turning his eyes to the car and giving an appreciative whistle. 

He turned back to Mikhail “Thanks for helping me so quickly.”

Mikhail smiled “Aki you know I will always come running when you need me all you need to do is call.”

Akihito nodded tears welling up in his eyes before he pulled Mikhail into another hug Akihito hadn’t really known how touch deprived he was until Mikhail had hugged him. They stayed like that for a few moments Mikhail sensing that Akihito needed the comfort and contact, finally Akihito took a deep breath and pulled away.

“Thanks I needed that.” Akihito said quietly wiping a few stray tears from his cheek, Mikhail just nodded and patted him on the back before they both got into the car. 

Mikhail started the engine and started driving towards the open road Mikhail smiled and told Akihito “I was thinking we would head to the rink first I talked to Yakov and he said he wanted to see you right away.”

Akihito nodded a smile playing on his lips at the thought of his older coach. When they arrived at the rink Akihito got out of the car and stretched before they both walked into the ice skating rink. Akihito looked around at the familiar scenery he walked farther into the skating rink and found the ice rink. He set down the bag he had brought with him and pulled out a pair of ice skates. 

Mikhail had gone and found Yakov in his office and told him that Akihito had arrived and was headed for the ice. Yakov had nodded and walked towards the ice rink with Mikhail. They made it just in time to see Akihito midair and then land a triple sow cow Akihito glided across the ice a small smile on his lips unknowingly sucking anyone watching in as he seemed to play on the ice while expressing such vulnerability. 

Mikhail and Yakov watched mesmerized as Akihito kept up his slow skate around the ring before stretching out into a spread eagle and taking off into what had been Akihito’s signature move when he used to skate, a quadruple lutz followed by a single loop and into a quadruple flip he seemed to float as he made the jumps look simply effortless. 

Yakov smiled when he saw the serene peaceful look on Akihito’s face, it was almost as if no time had passed since Akihito had left Russia and gone back to Japan. Hating to interrupt but knowing that Akihito could skate for hours and never realize that they were there, Yakov called “Akihito!”

Akihito spun in place and came to a stop on the ice he smiled when he saw Yakov standing beside Mikhail and skated over stepping off the ice and pulled Yakov into a hug which was quickly returned. 

“Welcome home Aki.” Yakov whispered in his ear, tightening his hold slightly.

Akihito smiled “Thanks, it’s good to be back.”


	5. Akihito on ice part two

Asami sat in the silent apartment head in his hands and Akihito’s voicemail seeming to haunt him as he waited for his men to find Akihito’s paper trail. The camera’s lost his young husband almost as soon as he left the lobby. Souh had taken some of the men with him and were combing the streets and alleys but without knowing which way he went it was looking for a needle in a haystack at best. 

Kirishima had gone to find his paper trail but hadn’t reported back yet though it was probably almost time for him to report in Asami noted. It was only a few moments later when Kirishima walked into the apartment looking somewhat worn.

“What did you find Kirishima?” Asami asked.

Kirishima sighed “Absolutely nothing.”

Asami sat straighter a slight edge entering his voice when he asked “What do you mean nothing?”

“I mean absolutely nothing, nothing has be withdrawn from your joint accounts, there is no paperwork saying he bought a train or airplane ticket, he didn’t get a cab. I checked if he had any bank accounts that he kept separate when you married but no bank that I’ve called in all of Japan has a Takaba Akihito or Asami Akihito on their records. I have no idea where he went or if he is still in the country, the moment Akihito walked out of the view of our cameras he disappeared off the face of the earth.” Kirishima informed him his tone never changing but to the observant listener you could hear the strain in his tone.  
Asami felt bile rise in his throat a million thoughts running in his head the what ifs going for the jugular, the predominate thoughts being what if there was no trail because he never made it off the block, what if he is with Ryugazaki having unspeakable things happen to him even now. Images of Akihito beaten, raped and broken flashed before Asami’s eyes what if he had left for good or Ryugazaki killed him. 

Unable to control his usually strong stomach at the graphic pictures flashing behind his eyes Asami ran for the bathroom just in time to empty his stomach into the toilet, the image of his dismembered guard flashing before his eyes but with Akihito’s face, imagining the terror in his eyes before he was brutalized and his eyes turned to the cold vacant expression of death. 

Asami’s heaves turned to barely restrained sobs as he wondered if he would ever see Akihito’s smile again, or hear him laugh again. What if he never had the chance to apologize and explain things to him, he couldn’t help but think of all those nights he spent at the office neglecting Akihito even as he tried to keep him safe the lost opportunities to kiss him, tell him he loved him, hear him laugh, make love just one last time...

Kirishima stood in the doorway watching his boss break down nausea going to crushing grief in a matter of seconds and looked away. Kirishima should have known that someone as bright and sweet as Akihito would die in isolation he should have foreseen this found a way to make time. All the phone calls where Akihito asked if they needed anything or if he could bring them lunch or leave the penthouse even under heavy guard, now took a more sinister turn  
when he realized those call may very well have been Akihito’s call for help and Kirishima had done nothing more than hang up the phone.

Kirishima left the Apartment a new resolve burning in his chest he would call Souh tell him everything he had found as well as Asami’s reaction to it than they would find their Akihito. Because they had broken him with their cruelty and silence and know that their light was gone Asami was breaking, swallowed by the shadows around him without his light to protect him.

 

Akihito walked through the snowy streets of Russia smiling fondly at Mikhail who was leading him through the different shops so he could buy proper winter clothes, Akihito had forgotten how bitingly cold it was in Russia making the Japan winters seem almost tame in comparison. 

Akihito had been surprised when Mikhail had told him that he had kept Akihito’s old bank account up and running and that he had also been making deposits to it still. Akihito hadn’t had a chance to think about funds when he called Mikhail and his jaw had dropped when Mikhail had casually mentioned “I guess it’s a good thing you’re a multi-millionaire even without Asami’s money.

Akihito also knew that no matter where Kirishima or Asami looked they would never find out where he had gotten money from simply because his name hadn’t been Akihito Takaba or at least it wasn’t always Akihito Takaba because for quite a while he went by Akihito Arbatrov, Mikhail Arbatrov’s adopted younger brother. 

He also hadn’t always been a freelance photographer he had actually been a competitive figure skater trained by Coach Yakov. Akihito had been trained beside and became very close friends with Victor Nikiforov they had been practically brothers always skating together they had even skated as a pair a few times towards the beginning of Victor’s career.

It had all been going fine until during one of Akihito’s few free programs in his second senior year Akihito had been about to go from an ina bauer into a quadruple toe loop when he landed he landed on the side of the skate where the blade stopped and between his foot placement and momentum his foot was pulled out from under him and he went down hard. 

He wound up dislocating his hip and although it completely healed and the doctor has said he could go back to skating Akihito never did, deciding to let Victor shine bright enough for the both of them and shortly afterwards moved to Japan as Akihito Takaba, Mikhail having set up all of Akihito’s records so he could live a life with no one knowing his true identity if he didn’t want them too.

He and Victor kept in contact through text and skype calls and then in China when Akihito had seen Mikhail again and told him about his relationship with Asami he had warned him. “Akihito, he is a cold and cruel man if he ever hurts you call me. I will always be there for you even if I have to start a war with Asami Ryuichi.” 

Akihito hadn’t realized how much he missed Russia until he was back, tomorrow Yakov had someone he wanted Akihito to help him teach he had told Akihito that his name was Yuri Plisetsky and apparently his programs this year had an innocence and vulnerability that he didn’t really know how to project.  
At first Akihito was hesitant after all while he loved to skate and was thinking about coming back somehow he wasn’t sure if he would be a good teacher, but if Lilia Baranovskaya had seen something amazing in him then Akihito really couldn’t say no, she was one of the people who trained him after all.  
Mikhail pulled Akihito into yet another shop this one with warm winter jackets and Akihito couldn’t help but revel in the warmth the sheep’s wool laced and insulated jacket gave off, it was half way through the jacket shopping that Akihito said quietly “Hey Mikhail.”

Mikhail turned to look at him “Yes Aki, what is it?”

Akihito looked down at the floor in thought a light blush dusting his cheeks “What would you think if I told you I wanted to start skating competitively again?”

Mikhail looked at him a moment before saying seriously “I would be thrilled, you were always happiest when you were on the ice. When you were younger we could hardly get you off it. I know you love Asami but even when you were with him you weren’t as happy as you were on the ice, it’s a part of you little brother just as much as your blood or your husband, and between you and me I think that a lot of people have just been waiting for you to come back. You should have seen the look on Yakov’s face when I told him you were skating, I didn’t think an old man could move that fast!”

Akihito’s smile was almost blinding by the time Mikhail had finished and Mikhail couldn’t stop himself from pulling his younger brother into a hug. Akihito snuggled into Mikhail’s embrace when they pulled away Mikhail gave Akihito a large smile and said “You have to make sure to tell Yakov about your decision, I’m sure he’ll be extremely happy.”

Akihito nodded, they continued walking as they headed back to Mikhail’s car, when they made it there they drove back to Mikhail’s condo in St. Petersburg where they would be staying.

 

The next morning Akihito rolled over and looked out the large floor to ceiling windows that lead onto his balcony the beach just steps away from the building, he could hear the seagulls singing outside and the sound of the ocean from his cracked open screen door.

Akihito yawned and stretched his arms and legs fully extended not reaching the end of the bed, he sat up the large t-shirt he was wearing hanging off one shoulder and his hair tousled by sleep. He crawled out of bed his shirt long enough to cover the briefs he usually wore to bed the shirt sleeves falling over his hands. The shirt was one of Asami’s favorite shirts Akihito had taken it out of the dirty hamper and had taken to smelling it at night while Asami was gone, until it had eventually lost his scent and Akihito decided to wash it and bring it with him, something of Asami’s that he could always keep with him.  
He walked out of the room to see Mikhail having cooked breakfast and seating the table Akihito shivered from the cold and grabbed the coffee Mikhail passed him with a smile and a thank you, Akihito drank some of the warm liquid allowing it to warm him up from the inside.

Mikhail sat beside him at the table “So when are you heading to the rink?”

Akihito shrugged “Yakov wanted me there early so I’ll go right after breakfast. What about you any plans?”

Mikhail nodded “One of my men was caught stealing money he’s been sitting in my holding cell for the last couple of days today I’m going to punish him.”  
Akihito winced the man who betrayed his brother must have been either very stupid or very desperate “Make sure you get his reason for stealing before you punish him if you can, it might have been something important.”

Mikhail nodded one of the things Mikhail always admired about Akihito was you never had to lie to him his innocence and purity stood in bold defiance of the world around him, Akihito never asked for much of anything really, even though he had so much power in his hands, he seemed to wield it without knowing it or if he did know wielded it twice as carefully. Mikhail was sure he wasn’t the only one who would do absolutely anything to see that smile to make someone as sweet as Akihito happy, he also knew that Akihito hated killing he wanted to take care of people. Mikhail had told him when he had taken over that all he had to do was ask and Mikhail would make it happen even if it meant pardoning a traitor, yet Akihito had never asked in the beginning of Mikhail’s reign he was a uniting force among Mikhail’s men. 

Akihito asked to be at executions of previous traitors no matter how difficult it was for him, the guards could remember the times when Mikhail would finish with a punishment and leave the offender to bleed to death on the ground but Akihito never failed to sit with them until they died crying over them and offering what comfort he could. 

Once after everything had finished Mikhail had asked a man named Dimitri who was originally so against him why he followed now so loyally and there in the middle of the meeting Dimitri had looked him in the eye and said “I don’t follow you because I don’t trust you, my loyalty isn’t yours it’s Akihito’s I do my job to help and protect Akihito and his happiness nothing more.”

The room had gone deathly quiet everyone sure that Dimitri had just signed his death warrant but instead Mikhail had smiled and said “That’s what I was hoping to hear, Dimitri you’re getting a promotion from this moment forth you will be Akihito’s bodyguard you now work for him and only him.”

While Akihito had been in Russia he had gifted Mikhail and his men a golden age as Mikhail grew his influence and organization as a whole Akihito kept an eye on the people themselves always ready to boost morale and never forgetting a birthday or someone’s anniversary he just seemed to know what people needed he could take a look at you and give you a hug because he somehow knew your dog had died. That was just how Akihito and Mikhail were and why they made such an amazing team Mikhail would always remember the day Akihito had been attacked by a neighboring syndicate and had wound up in the hospital he was looked fine not a scratch on him until the other leader contacted them and explained that Akihito had been poisoned.

Mikhail had never seen his men so vicious by the time Mikhail had gotten to the enemy headquarters all of the other leaders men were dead and the leader himself had been tortured horrifically until he had given up the antidote. Mikhail had walked into the other leaders office to find him broken and one of his men kneeling down with a gun presented so Mikhail could finish the job another of his men had been on the phone telling the hospital the name of the poison and antidote. 

When Akihito had taken to figure skating as many of his men as he could spare would come and watch Akihito’s practices and performances then give detailed descriptions or even videos of Akihito to everyone who couldn’t make it. Later that night Mikhail had told Akihito that he practically had an army of big brothers now and Akihito had responded my handwriting each of them an invitation to his birthday party.

As Akihito ran out the door having dressed and finished his coffee Mikhail watched him give Dimitri and hug and a smile and Mikhail chuckled he had told Asami once that Akihito was something special even Fei Long had told Asami that, and yet he somehow had hurt and nearly broken their shining sun. But that was alright Mikhail and his men and Akihito’s friends would put him back together and would make sure that they never made the same mistake as Asami did.

They would keep him safe and happy always…


	6. Akihito's Agape

Akihito walked into the ice rink, his bodyguard and friend Dimitri following faithfully behind him. Akihito saw Yakov standing beside the skating rink watching a blonde boy with shoulder length blonde hair practicing what was obviously his skating routine.

Akihito walked up to Yakov and touched his shoulder happily accepting the hug he was pulled into. Akihito looked at the skater on the ice and asked “Is that the skater you told me about?”

Yakov nodded “That’s Yuri Plisetsky he is having problems with his short program.”

Akihito arched an eyebrow “What kind of problems?”

Yakov sighed “You’ll see for yourself,” Yakov turned to Yuri “Yuri do it again from the top!”

Akihito heard the music come on his eyes sliding closed for a moment to let the innocent melody wash over him he watched Yuri skate to the music and immediately saw what Yakov had been talking about Yuri wasn’t connecting to the music at all, and his performance wound up feeling forced and fake.  
The jumps were landed cleanly but the way he moved felt wrong. “I see what you mean.” Akihito said quietly to Yakov.

Yakov nodded “The program was created by Victor the title On Love: Agape, it was meant to reflect innocence and unconditional love. But Yuri can seem to give off either of those emotions when he skates.”

Akihito nodded and Yakov told Yuri to stop and come over when Yuri arrived at their side of the rink Yakov said “Yuri this is an old student of mine, his name is Akihito and he kindly agreed to help you with your performance.”

Yuri glared “I don’t need this guy’s help what makes him so special anyway!”

Akihito looked Yuri in the eye “I can show you if you’d like?”

Yuri huffed but nodded and stepped off the ice Akihito took off his blade protectors and glided on “Yakov let me see you routine worksheet. Yakov would you mind queuing the music?”

Yuri watched next to Yakov as he rewound the music and Akihito’s whole body seemed to go limp and relax for the opening notes as he started to skate the routine and launched effortlessly into his first jump.

Yuri found himself speechless tears welling in his eyes as Akihito skated, his whole body seemed to be begging as if the whole performance was a prayer for true love, an innocent young boy asking for something that he desperately needs but doesn’t know why.

The farther Akihito went into the program the more he sucked you in making your heart hurt for him. Yuri couldn’t help wondering if he could make people feel like that too, the aching vulnerability in his movements. 

Yuri felt a tear run down his cheek and quickly wiped it away as the performance finished Akihito’s body relaxed but utterly still as he entered the final pose a tear rolling down his cheek his body language that of silent agonizing begging as he experienced his own version of Agape, turning it into a desperate plea for true unconditional love, and Yuri couldn’t help but wonder if this was Agape’s true form. 

Yakov quietly told Yuri now that the song was winding down with Akihito still holding the ending pose as if frozen in time. “The reason I asked Akihito to come and help you is simple Christophe Giacometti may specialize in Eros but Akihito’s specialty is Agape. In fact when Victor made this performance it wouldn’t have surprised me if he made it for Akihito, he always used to do that make a program for him and one for Akihito.”

Akihito seemed to slowly come out of his trance and turned to look at Yuri and Yakov, Yakov continued quietly “There is only so much Lily and I can do for you Yuri, if you want to truly master Agape then you should ask the master to teach you.”

Yuri nodded as Akihito skated towards them Akihito gave them a small smile “What do you think Yuri am I good enough to help you?”

Yuri nodded “Yea you’ll do.”

 

Asami’s men gathered inside a warehouse on the outskirts of Tokyo Asami had called everyone to gather and see if anyone had found any leads. Once everyone was gathered Asami stood on a small raised platform at the front of the room. They were shocked to see how exhausted Asami looked his hair was mussed and tangled, a five o’clock shadow on his face from not shaving, the bags under his eyes dark from lack of sleep, his clothes rumpled and shoulders slumped. 

The once all powerful and pristine Asami Ryuichi looked easily ten years older and truly defeated his eyes red rimmed and bloodshot. Seeing their leader this way Souh on his right and Kirishima on his left struck the men speechless. 

Asami looked out at the sea of people waiting for him to tell them what to do, to give them some sort of direction, and felt utterly hopeless he had spent so long with Akihito at his side that he didn’t know what to do without him, with his shining golden sun. 

Taking a breath Asami asked the room “Has anyone found any leads as to where my husband is?”

For a moment silence rained as people in the crowd shook their heads before the warehouse filled with voices saying in unison “No sir!”

Asami nodded his posture slumping even more before he walked off the stage and out of the warehouse leaving his people stunned. Kirishima and Souh looked at each other both shocked and not knowing what to do. Before Kirishima strode to the center of the stage. “As you well know our beloved Akihito is missing, there is no paper trail, there is no security feed, and there isn’t even a ransom note. I don’t need to tell you what happens to the lovers of crime lords if they’re captured by the enemy, nor do I need to tell you that the longer Akihito is missing the higher the chance that we will find out he died when the enemy sends us his head in a box.”

Kirishima paused for a moment to let what he said sink in seeing from his elevated position quite a few teary eyes in the audience, Kirishima continued “I don’t need to tell you how losing Akihito would destroy Asami because you can see it for yourselves! Some of you were here when Akihito was kidnapped by Fei Long, you saw with your own eyes that Asami will burn and destroy anything and anyone in his way. Many of you remember Asami before he met Akihito how cold, cruel and merciless he was! You’ve seen with your own eyes how Akihito has brought us to new heights, and in return we failed him. In return we hurt him, we isolated him, and we betrayed him! If anything happens to Akihito who has become so precious to us, if he dies because we weren’t there to protect him when he needed us. Then it’s our fault! Then we killed him, we killed Asami’s mercy, Asami’s love, we killed our shining sun!”   
Kirishima had tears streaming down his cheeks as he confessed their sins in front of all of Asami’s men. 

Kirishima took a moment to swallow around the lump in his throat “So we’ll find him, before the unthinkable happens and he is broken beyond repair and if he is already dead then we bring him home and give him a proper burial and then we burn the world of his killers to the ground!”

Asami’s men cheered right arm raised tears streaming down their faces and Asami sitting in the car outside of the warehouse could hear their shouts but he paid them little mind as he scrolled through the hundreds of photos of Akihito that he kept on his phone his sobs echoing loudly in the silence of the car “I will find you my love, I will never give up.” Asami whispered his sobs growing louder seeming to echo through the night.


	7. The Three Akihito's

Everyone in the Arbatrov household was fast asleep, Akihito had returned from the rink exhausted but determined to help Yuri do well. It was roughly three am when Mikhail was jolted out of sleep by a scream, at first it didn’t occur to him who was yelling until the scream came again, Mikhail jumped up and ran so fast he nearly flew to Akihito’s room.

He saw Akihito covered in sweat writhing and crying on the bed the sheets tangled around his feet, Mikhail ran up to him gently running a hand through  
Akihito’s hair “Aki, it’s alright, it’s not real, you’re here with me in Russia.” 

Akihito’s screams seemed to quiet but his breathing still had a panicked edge to them Mikhail didn’t think twice about scooping him up and walking back to Mikhail’s bedroom he saw some of his men in the living room guns drawn looking for a threat they had already realized wasn’t there. Mikhail just smiled and told them quietly that everything was alright. 

Sitting in his bed Mikhail pulled Akihito closer to him sighing relieved when Akihito curled into his chest Akihito’s whole body trembling. Mikhail just ran his fingers through Akihito’s hair then a voice raw from screaming said quietly “I’m sorry I woke you, it just seemed so real.”

Mikhail shook his head “Don’t be sorry I’m glad I could be here for you little brother, do you want to talk about it?”

Akihito shuddered “It was kinda stupid I suppose, I was back at the penthouse and I was by myself when a fire started I ran to the door but it was locked and my key wouldn’t work. I started screaming and banging on the door but no one could hear me so I went to the bedroom and curled up with Ryuichi’s picture and our wedding photo and burned to death..” 

Mikhail hushed Akihito gently tears had started streaming down Akihito’s face, Akihito said the next thing so quietly Mikhail almost didn’t hear him “Miki, do you think Ryuichi is looking for me?”

Mikhail just hummed noncommittally Akihito looked up at him “Maybe I should call him and let him know I’m safe?”

Mikhail sighed “If that’s what you want, but we can’t tell him where you are you can’t heal with him chasing you.”

Akihito nodded “Miki what if he hasn’t realized I’m gone?”

Mikhail hugged Akihito tighter “Then you hang up the phone.”

Akihito chuckled “I suppose I could do that.”

Akihito looked at the clock “What time is it in Japan?”

“1 in the afternoon” Mikhail replied

Akihito looked up “Can I call him now?”

Mikhail handed Akihito an untraceable cell phone “knock yourself out.”

Akihito dialed Ryuichi’s familiar number from memory and held the phone to his ear waiting to see if he would answer. It took a few seconds for the call to connect but Akihito was surprised when Ryuichi picked up on the first ring.

 

Asami was surprised when his private phone started ringing very few people had his private number he answered quickly and hoped that it would lead him to Aki “Hello?”

A hoarse and tear filled voice whispered quietly “Ryu.”

Asami jumped up from the slouched position he had been sitting in at his desk at Sion “Akihito!”

Kirishima ran into the room when he heard Asami say that the bespectacled secretary looking slightly ruffled Asami turned his attention back to the phone in his hand “Akihito, baby where are you I’ll come get you!”

Asami waited desperately for Akihito to answer him only to feel his blood run cold when he did “I’m sorry Ryu, but I can’t tell you where I am. I can tell you that I’m safe and that Ryugazaki can’t reach me here. Believe me when I say that it’s best for the both of us if I leave for a while, it isn’t safe for either of us if I stay. I know you didn’t mean to but you reawakened something that should have been left to sleep and I am not naïve enough to think that this something won’t try and hurt you. So I need to be left alone so I can heal and find myself again, so I can come back to you someday. I’m sorry for worrying you and I would understand if you fell in love with someone else I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, or how often I’ll be able to talk to you. I just wanted to tell you I still love you Ryu and not to worry about me.”

Asami’s eyes welled with tears when he heard Akihito repress sobs on the other end of the phone “Akihito please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for what I did to you, what I did to us. But I need you back I can’t go on without you, I know I messed up but please let me fix it.”  
Asami heard Akihito sob “I wish I could, I wish I could come back, being away from you is physically painful but I can’t it’s not safe if I come back he’ll come for you and the way I am I can’t stop him Ryu, please understand I’m so sorry.”

“Akihito!” Asami begged but before he could continue Akihito cut him off. “I’m sorry Ryuichi I have to go now, but don’t forget Ryu I love you.” 

Asami leapt to his feet “No Akihito please!” but all that Asami heard in reply was the click of the call ending. Kirishima looked away from his boss on his knees clutching a now silent phone sobbing out his lover’s name.

 

Akihito hung up the phone and broke down, his hands reaching up and clutching the sides of his head Mikhail didn’t hesitate to pull him against him trying to sooth Akihito’s hysteric cries but the longer Mikhail tried to sooth him the worse it seemed to get before with a quiet exhale Akihito went completely still and Mikhail felt his blood freeze when Akihito looked up at him with blank eyes his blue eyes normally so full of life were dead and Mikhail pulled his hands away and up leaving them resting on the pillows his palms open “Akihito I need you to wake up ok?”

Akihito only tilted his head slightly Mikhail looked at the panic button on his nightstand and wondered if he could reach it in time but froze when Akihito who had followed his line of sight and thought he was looking at a gun wrapped his hands hard around Mikhail’s throat instantly cutting off his oxygen. Mikhail immediately reached for the button which was really a key fob that would alert his guards to an emergency.

Just as Mikhail’s vision started to grow black at the edges Mikhail pressed the button immediately a siren wailed throughout the condo and Mikhail’s guards including and most importantly Dimitri ran into the bedroom seeing what happened Dimitri gave his gun to one of the other guards and tackled Akihito off of Mikhail, Mikhail rolled off the bed and onto all fours coughing and trying to get enough air into his lungs. 

“Don’t hurt him!” Mikhail rasped “It’s not his fault.”

The guards nodded and put away their weapons Mikhail watched sadly as Akihito writhed and struggled trying to get Dimitri off of him once Dimitri was sure his hold was strong he asked Mikhail “What should we do with him?”

Mikhail sighed “let’s take him to the panic room if we knock him out he could wake up like this”  
Dimitri nodded and with the help of one of the other guards carried and struggling Akihito to the panic room, the room was all white and heavily padded so Akihito wouldn’t get hurt until he came back. They put him in there and quickly closed and locked the door hearing Akihito slam into it. 

Akihito immediately started banging on it, the guards sadly looked away and walked out of the condo leaving Mikhail there to watch as his brother tried to fight for his sanity.

 

Mikhail sadly watched Akihito from the window in the door he had been hoping Akihito had been wrong when he told Mikhail that he had started having black outs again. 

When Akihito was a child he had been badly abused before he had been adopted by Mikhail’s father Mikhail still doesn’t know the extent of the abuse since Akihito very rarely talked about it. Mikhail had been the first to notice that there were two “Akihito’s” one was the normal Akihito back then he had been scared but slowly learning to trust his new family then sometimes Akihito seemed to revert to a child of maybe four when Mikhail had asked his dad why on one of the nights were Akihito reverted Mikhail’s father had a sad look in his eyes.

“Mikhail” he had said “your baby brother was hurt badly when he was younger a person can only take so much before they are broken beyond repair something happened to make Akihito snap but the younger Akihito isn’t bad you just have to take care of them both, the therapist said that someday his pieces may heal when he no longer needs them to cope. Do you notice how younger Akihito is afraid of small dark spaces and is afraid of being alone? It’s because his father used to lock him in a dark little closet and leave him there for days by himself, but we can help him and make sure he gets better.”  
For a while that was how it went and as Akihito got older he switched less and less he started skating and made a friend in Victor Nikiforov and friends among Mikhail’s guards until one day Akihito was kidnapped by one of Mikhail’s enemies and tortured, by the time Mikhail had made it to him Akihito was covered in blood playing with his kidnappers organs having apparently disemboweled him and all of the kidnappers men with a fork. 

The ‘little’ Akihito had looked up at Mikhail and smiled a large innocent smile and said “Miki do you see I made it isn’t the red so pretty?”

Some of Mikhail’s men had to go outside to cry or vomit and Mikhail had just smiled “It is a pretty red.”

That day the third Akihito was born and this Akihito knew of only one thing pain and death when Akihito came too he had been cleaned up in the hospital and Mikhail was sitting by his bedside Mikhail remembered the despair he had felt when he turned to Mikhail and asked “Hey Miki why don’t I remember anything after they made the video with me being hurt?”

Mikhail had swallowed around a lump in his throat and said “Blood loss Aki, it was pretty touch and go for a while.”

Akihito had accepted that and when he turned fourteen Mikhail had sat him down and explained what had really happened and that there were three Akihito’s they were named little and death...


	8. Death

Akihito came too laying on his stomach in a padded white room his body felt like one giant bruise and his throat was raw and sore like he had spent hours screaming. Akihito furrowed his brow and tried to think of the last thing he could remember he lifted himself onto all fours using shaking limbs. 

Once in a seated position he sighed noticing he was in the panic room at Mikhail’s condo he wasn’t usually placed in a panic room if little made and appearance so that must mean… “Death” Akihito whispered placing one of his hands over his heart deep in thought.

He remembered calling Ryuichi and his heart breaking at the sadness clearly audible in Asami’s tone, almost revealing something about himself during the conversation the he had never wanted Ryuichi to know, then afterwards he remembered sobbing as his heart seemed to break all over again, then nothing…

Akihito sighed and hoped he hadn’t hurt anyone while he was gone Akihito sat crossed legged in the center of the room while he waited for Mikhail to come back and let him out since the room could only be opened from the outside.

Akihito remembered when the blackouts had started happening again, it was about a week after Ryuichi had stopped coming home at first it seemed small at first he would be sitting at the dinner table and he would lose twenty minutes. At first Akihito had just thought he was falling asleep at the table Akihito hadn’t been sleeping well after all, but then it would happen in the middle of the afternoon he would be sitting on the couch and next thing he knew an hour had gone by and he was laying with his feet on the arm rest of the sofa. 

Then one day he woke up in the kitchen sitting on the counter with no recollection of how he had gotten there after that Akihito put video cameras all over the house to see what was going on. About two days later he had woken up sitting on the kitchen island with a knife in his hand, in a panic Akihito threw the knife to the other side of the room and ran to check the camera. 

Akihito watched in horror as the sleeping Akihito on the tape had woken up with a giggle before crawling out of bed on all fours before skipping out of the room his thumb in his mouth, Akihito watched in shock as he went into the kitchen before dancing around the living room giggling before seeming to realize he was alone and started wailing. After a few moments of that he crawled onto the kitchen island and started looking around before grabbing a large knife from the kitchen counter. Akihito watched bile rising in his throat as he spent twenty minutes playing with the knife almost hurting himself multiple times before Akihito “woke up” and threw the knife away.

Akihito sat on the couch head in his hand and said quietly to himself “Oh god, that was little, what was little doing here. He is supposed to be asleep!” 

For a moment Akihito was silent then his head shot up “But if little is awake, does that mean death is!?”

Akihito sat for a moment using one of the few meditation practices he had been taught as a child he never told Mikhail that he could hear and sometimes talk to the others if he was calm enough and the surroundings were quiet enough. 

After a few moments of meditating Akihito sighed “As far as I can tell only little is awake.”

Akihito gave a small smile if only little was awake it should be an easy enough fix he just needed to spend more time with Ryuichi and little should go back to sleep, little usually started popping up when Akihito was alone for two long but since his appearances were so short and far apart it should be a small problem so Akihito could take care of it now before it grew.

With a smile Akihito picked up the phone and called Kirishima when he answered Akihito said “Good morning Kirishima, I was wondering if Ryuichi and I could have lunch today?”

Akihito heard silence on the other end for a moment before Kirishima said “I’m sorry Akihito but Asami doesn’t have time for you today we are very busy!”

Akihito’s shoulders slumped “Then would it be alright for me to go outside?”

Kirishima sighed “We’ve been over this Akihito until the Ryugazaki threat has been handled we can’t risk you leaving the penthouse.”

“But I’ll take as many guards as you want, please Kirishima?” Akihito begged

“No” Kirishima said fiercely before snapping “Now I need to go please stop being a nuisance.”

Akihito was about to say something else when he heard the click of the call being disconnected. Akihito hung his head and sighed “I hope Ryu comes home soon.”

Akihito’s hope was in vain and little antics went on longer and longer as well as more often, Akihito snuck out of the condo once and grabbed a bunch of kid’s toys and crayons as well as coloring books in hopes of keeping little occupied then hid away most of the sharp objects and medicines where little wouldn’t be able to get them.

One morning Akihito woke in the dining room crayon in hand and checked the security tapes only to see that little had taken over after Akihito had gone to bed and stayed up all night Akihito winced when he saw the time stamp on the video and realized little had been in control for almost twelve hours.

Akihito had taken to meditating everyday knowing that it wouldn’t help much but at the moment it was the only thing he could do often times he would hear little always a child-like giggle in the back of his mind but today things were different when Akihito sunk into his meditation instead of seeing four year old him giggling little was sitting in the center of a sea of dead flowers sobbing Akihito knelt down beside him and asked “what’s wrong?”

Little looked up the same eyes Akihito saw in the mirror every day clouded with tears and little started yelling “I want Miki, don’t wanna play by myself anymore!”

Akihito sighed “I’m sorry, Miki isn’t here, but we can play if you’d like?”

Little just shook his head “I want Miki!”

Before Akihito could try and calm little down again he started wailing “I want to go home, I’m all alone here and it’s always so dark and quiet, I want Miki!”

Akihito froze when he felt another presence their besides little before another Akihito had materialized next to Little “It’s alright,” Death soothed “I’ll get us out of here somehow I’ll set us free, even if we have to run away to another word, forever. Isn’t that right Akihito?”

If anyone had asked Akihito what had bothered him most about Death they would probably think the answer was how he has a habit of killing people when he shows up but in reality the thing that bothered Akihito most about Death was his cold, dead, gray eyes they were eyes that screamed of endless suffering and those eyes have never know warmth or love.

Akihito shook his head “We’ll be fine we won’t be alone much longer, I promise.”

After that Akihito started calling Kirishima and Asami more often offering to do anything he could think of to get back in their presence, in Ryuichi’s presence but all of his attempts were turned down. One day Akihito awoke sitting on the couch a gun on the cushion beside him and his phone in his lap.

Dread pooling in his stomach Akihito saw that he had been texting Asami [Can you please come home?]

Asami had sent back [Probably not I’m pretty busy]

Akihito had replied [Are you sure? I’ve been so lonely and I need you…inside]

Akihito froze his eyes widening before looking at Asami’s reply [that couldn’t have been what I thought it was?]

Akihito had replied [I must not be being very clear then… I’m horny and I can’t seem to take care of it myself ;)]

Asami’s reply was [fufu I’m on my way then my horny kitten]

Akihito ran to the video camera and looked at the footage of the time of the text and felt tears in his eyes when he saw himself sit on the couch with the phone and gun but then Akihito had looked tauntingly into the camera to reveal Death. 

“Oh god.” Akihito whispered 

Akihito knew the moment Death had been told that Asami was coming because he smirked and grabbed the gun he showed it was loaded before switching off the safety and standing in front of the door clearly planning to shoot whoever came through the door.

Akihito couldn’t stop the scream that welled up in his throat “No!!”

Before the phone dinged on the couch again and Akihito picked it up to read it the same time as Death did on the screen

From Ryu [sorry I won’t be able to make it, you’ll have to take care of it yourself]

Akihito could feel Death near the surface even now swirling inside of him like a fog knowing that Death could hear him just fine he yelled “Why are you doing this!”

No response came from Death though Akihito wasn’t expecting one he closed his eyes and shook his head. He opened the closet to try and find something that smelled like Ryuichi smiling when he saw some rope in the corner that Ryu had once used when they tried bondage the rope was too coarse and left him with almost severe rope burns. 

Ryu and Akihito had gone to pick out rope that was softer and had thrown the old one in the closet where it could be forgotten.

Akihito grabbed one of Ryuichi’s shirts and curled up to sleep, later Akihito would curse himself for letting his guard down so easily when he woke up he was standing on a chair in the dining room at first he wondered why, then noticed that he felt something rough against his skin. He reached up and felt…no it couldn’t be…looking up Akihito’s worse fear was realized when he looked up and saw the rope around his neck attached to an exposed beam in the ceiling. Akihito couldn’t stop the scream that split his throat, he had been standing on the edge of the chair, Death had taken control and tried to kill them both.

That afternoon Akihito called Mikhail and begged to come home as well as told him that the episodes had started up again and that Death had tried to kill him.


	9. The Training of Yuri Plisetsky

Akihito had been meditating for about twenty minutes before Mikhail unlocked the door and came inside the panic room. 

Akihito looked up at him and smiled tiredly “Hi, Miki did I hurt anyone?”

Mikhail just shook his head “No, Aki you didn’t seriously hurt anyone.”

Akihito stood up and followed Mikhail out to the living room, Mikhail handed Akihito a hot chocolate that Mikhail made for him and they both sat down on the couch.

They sat in silence for a moment before Mikhail said quietly “I didn’t realize how bad you had gotten.”

Akihito just hummed and nodded his head so Mikhail continued “Maybe we should tell Asami what’s happening, if he caused it maybe he could help?”

Akihito just sighed “If it was only little acting up I would agree, but Miki Death truly hates Asami I think even when Death was asleep he was aware of what was happening around us and where I forgave Ryuichi for how we met Death did not.”

Mikhail sighed “So you’re saying that you’re worried that Death would be more active because he wants to hurt Asami?”

Akihito nodded “This last time that Death woke up he also said something that you should probably know about he told little that we would run away to another world forever, the way he looked at me when he said it… Miki he was threatening me. He wanted me to know that he had no problems killing us too. He is getting worse and a lot stronger than he was last time.”

Mikhail shook his head sadly “Then what do you want to do?”

Akihito looked down at the still warm mug in his hands “I’m not sure, I miss Ryuichi so bad it hurts but I can risk bringing him here until I know that I have Death on a short leash.”

Mikhail nodded “But you know without him it could take years for you to put Death back to sleep.”

Akihito shook his head “Just until I’m strong enough to keep Death reigned in should he try and take over. Then we can tell Ryuichi where I am.”

Mikhail sighed but nodded “What were you going to do today?”

Akihito smiled “I promised to start training Yuri, I was thinking though maybe I could make it a habit to call Asami every day or at least every other day, let him   
know I’m ok.”

Mikhail nodded “That sounds like a good idea.”

Akihito smiled “I’ve missed you Miki.”

Mikhail pulled Akihito close “I’ve missed you too, little brother.”

 

It was about two hours later that Akihito was ready to head to the rink and train Yuri, he stepped outside and smiled at the bright morning sun shining down. 

Akihito made it to the rink in little time and went in to find Yuri doing his warm up under the watchful eye of Yakov, Akihito smiled and walked up to them. “Hey Yakov!”

Yakov turned to Akihito and smiled “Aki, it’s great to see you.”

Akihito smiled “While Yuri finishes his warm up would it be alright if I talked to you?”

Yakov nodded and they went inside his office closing the door before turning to Akihito “What’s up?”

Akihito took a deep breath “I would like to try and come back to figure skating.”

Akihito took deep breaths and tried not to smirk or get nervous when Yakov’s jaw dropped. For a moment everything was silent before Yakov pulled Akihito into a tight hug. “I’ve been waiting for you to come to me and say that.”

Akihito smiled returning the hug after a moment of silence they pulled away and went back to the main rink to start training Yuri. 

Akihito skated onto the ice with Yuri and watched him move for a moment and shook his head “Yuri the problem with your Agape is simply the fact that it feels forced, you can’t fake or lie something like Agape.”

Yuri nodded trying the beginning sequence again this time Akihito let him get half way through before calling for a stop, “I think your problem is mostly mental. Why not close your eyes and pick a memory, one where you either experienced or wished for unconditional love then go from there. Let the feelings and the music move your body not the other way around.”

Yuri nodded and closed his eyes taking slow and measured breaths Akihito waited for his expression to soften and a small smile to form on his lips before pressing the play button on the music remote. 

This time Akihito stood quietly in by the wall of the rink as Yuri seemed to move subconsciously to the music the movements slightly different than what Victor had choreographed but and at a slightly slower tempo but much more honest. 

Akihito smiled when Yuri went for his first jump and he seemed to float there the jump effortless, the performance leaving Akihito mesmerized and slightly breathless until about half way through the performance where Yuri seemed to lose his train of thought and opened his eyes just like that the spell seemed to break and Yuri who had been landing a quad overbalanced on the landing and fell over.

Akihito quickly paused the music and skated over to check on a seemingly stunned Yuri, Akihito held his hand out for him to grab “Are you alright?”

Yuri nodded grabbing Akihito’s hand and let Akihito pull him to his feet, Akihito smiled at him “You did good Yuri, you had truly found something for a moment there we just need to figure out how to keep you like that the whole time, which just takes practice.”

Yuri nodded still seeming stunned though Akihito didn’t worry about it too much a lot of people were a little stunned after their first time.

Yuri looked at him and asked quietly “What was that? It was like I don’t know an almost out of body experience I can’t really remember a lot about it but I somehow feel lighter…”

Akihito nodded “Victor and I liked to call it the fade but some people call it the zone, it’s like the world fades away and you are able to just be you, without any lies it can be an enlightening out of body experience. It is almost like a form of meditation or communication.”

Yuri nodded and said quietly “It’s really intense, is it like that for you every time?”

Akihito shrugged “Yes and no, no two fades are ever exactly the same and every different routine can cause one with different emotions entirely. It goes   
beyond just losing yourself in the moment it’s a moment of absolute release, you purging your soul to the ice and the music.”

Yuri nodded and Akihito smiled “We can call it a day now if you want, you’ve made amazing progress.”

Yuri nodded still deep in thought and they skated off the ice together, Akihito went home that night with a small smile knowing that Yuri had been taking his teachings to heart and that Yakov hadn’t lied when he said that Yuri could be something special.


	10. Reunion

Almost a week had passed since Akihito had fled to Russia and since then there had been four more incidents of Akihito’s other personalities making themselves known, Death had made one more appearance and Little had made three. 

No one had been hurt but it had surprised Mikhail when Akihito had drawn all over the condo walls in Sharpie marker, Akihito had been trying to find ways of centering himself or regaining control when one of them had taken over but so far there was no success. 

Yuri’s training seemed to hit a stand-still since the day they had first started training no matter what they did Yuri never seemed to be able to find his center like he did then to his endless frustration. As Akihito got to know Yuri better he started calling him Neko because of his love for cats although he had never bothered to tell Yuri what it meant. 

Yakov was beginning preparations to announce Akihito’s return to skating to the media as well as the other people who skate under Yakov. Akihito had started meditating a lot more trying to get his other personalities under control and Mikhail had started chaining his ankle to the bed when he went to sleep since Death had appeared in the middle of the night and Mikhail had found him standing over him with a steak knife raised in a stabbing position.

Mikhail had also given him the satellite phone he had used to call Asami even though Akihito hadn’t gotten the nerve to try calling him again yet. 

 

Akihito was sitting in bed one morning still chained waiting for Mikhail to come in with the key when he finally got up the courage to call again. He dialed Asami’s number and waited for it to connect smiling when he answered on the first ring.

Asami’s urgent voice echoed through the phone “Akihito is that you!”

Akihito chuckled “Hi, Ryuichi, how are you doing?”

“Never mind me Akihito, tell me where you are!” Asami said desperately.

Akihito just shook his head “We’ve been over this Ryu it’s too dangerous, he would come for you.”

Akihito could hear Asami’s frustration “Who would come Aki, what hold does this guy have on you. Just tell me who he is!”

Akihito shook his head “I know what you’re thinking Ryuichi and you can’t stop him, he would kill you. Actually he would probably kill us both.”

Akihito froze when he heard Asami start crying “Please Akihito.”

Akihito thought for a moment he could feel Death waiting to see what he would do hovering like a silent threat. He thought for a moment more only to see Mikhail standing in the doorway nodding his head.

Akihito sighed “Fine but you play this by my rules ok?”

Asami smiled “Anything, thank you.”

Akihito shook his head “I’m in St. Petersburg, Russia.”

Akihito hung up tears in his eyes he could hear Death chuckling and Death quietly whisper in his ear “I knew you would do it, you’ve always been weak, do   
you honestly think you can protect him Aki?”

Akihito shuddered before ironing his resolve he wouldn’t let Death hurt Asami that’s all there was to it. 

Mikhail smiled “I’m proud of you Aki, I think he might be able to help you.”

Akihito shook his head “Could you call Dimitri in here please, I need to speak to you both.”

Mikhail looked confused but nodded and called Dimitri into Akihito’s room. Akihito looked at them both sadly “Well Miki, I took your advice and called Asami, but if I can’t stop Death and Asami is in danger. I want you to shoot me.”

Mikhail blanched “What are you talking about!?”

Akihito shook his head “I refuse to allow him to be hurt if I slip and am about to hurt him, I want you to kill me.”

Mikhail teared up “Never, you know I wouldn’t do that!”

Akihito looked at him sadly “Sorry Miki, but this time I wasn’t talking to you.”

Mikhail was confused until he saw Dimitri kneeling beside the bed his gun drawn and held out in front of him offered to Akihito, tears welled in Dimitri’s eyes “If that is your wish, then I will serve you.”

Akihito nodded gently placing a hand on the gun and the other on Dimitri’s shoulder “It is, thank you my friend.”

Mikhail glared “Dimitri, what are you doing I will not allow this!”

Dimitri shook his head “You seem to forget that I don’t serve you, I serve Akihito, and if there is no other option and Akihito wishes it then I will kill him.”

Mikhail shook his head and Akihito pulled him into a hug allowing Mikhail’s tears to wet his shirt collar, they sat there for ages Dimitri curled up behind Akihito with Mikhail in the front and cried.

 

Two hours later Mikhail, Dimitri and Akihito were waiting with two cars to pick Asami up from the Airport. Akihito had butterflies in his stomach as he waited for the plane to finish landing. 

Akihito was wearing a chain around his neck that Mikhail had the other half of the hope being that if Death took over they would be able to pull him away and lock him in the enclosed backseat of the other car. Dimitri had also spent two hours at the range practicing head shots hoping that if the worst came to pass Akihito wouldn’t feel any pain.

The private plane had lowered the ladder and Akihito smiled and stepped out of the car to meet Ryuichi on the tarmac. 

Akihito heard Dimitri load the Glock 45 that was his sidearm and the slack on the chain in Mikhail’s hand get a touch tighter waiting to have to restrain him. Akihito saw Asami for the first time in a week and smiled he looked exhausted but Akihito missed him so much that he hardly noticed.

Mikhail seeing the happy look on Akihito’s face decided to take a risk and unhooked the chain leaving only a collar around Akihito’s neck. 

Akihito didn’t even notice as he ran into Asami’s waiting arms both of them were sobbing and taking in the others scent, until they saw Akihito still, Akihito reached around seeming to want to embrace Asami only to reach for the gun on his waist band Dimitri immediately brought his gun up “Don’t move!”

Akihito stopped for a moment before quickly grabbing the gun and pushing back immediately bringing it to aim at Asami’s chest a cruel sneer painted across his features “Akihito was stupid for allowing you to come here, and now I’ll make him pay for it.”

Asami was puzzled but raised his hands none the less “Akihito what’s wrong?”

Akihito looked into Asami’s eyes and for a moment the gun wavered a flash of blue fighting back the grey before the gun steadied again. “I’ll kill you for what you’ve done Asami Ryuichi!”

Asami looked at Akihito with saddened gold eyes “Ok.”

One of Akihito’s dead grey eyes turned back to blue and wrenched the gun down his face furrowed from the strain he panted tears in his eyes before shouting “I can’t, I can’t hold him!”

Akihito looked up at Asami sadly “I’m sorry, I love you.”

Akihito looked at Dimitri and nodded “Take the shot.”

Dimitri nodded tears in his eyes and Akihito closed his eyes as the sound of a gunshot echoed around the tarmac.


	11. Sunflower Heartbeat

Akihito looked up at the blue sky from where he was lying in a field of vibrant sunflowers, for the first time in a while Akihito felt truly light as if he was weightless and worriless, the passing of time kept only by the breeze as it blew through the ever blooming sunflowers and moved the clouds in the always sunny sky. 

Akihito idly wondered how he had gotten here, he looked down and found a single blood red rose lying atop his chest. After he noticed the rose he started to notice other things, like how he was so tired and a voice could faintly be heard on the breeze a voice Akihito was sure he was supposed to recognize.

“Akihito, come back please don’t leave me!” Akihito blinked and tried to focus on why that voice was so familiar?

It was hard to think though, his thoughts drifting in and out like the breeze while the tiredness begged him to rest, he weakly brushed a finger along the rose and could hear a faint sound emanating from the rose, a thumping that reminded Akihito of a heartbeat. 

The heartbeat was weak though as if the heart was tired too, Akihito stroked the petals soothingly and slowly allowed his eyes to fall shut, they were both so tired surely a little nap wouldn’t be so bad, after all this place was so serene and beautiful he could just stay here forever.

When Akihito’s eyes drifted shut he could feel the heartbeat get weaker and slower both of them ready to give in to sleep, right before Akihito drifted off he wished he could show Ryuichi this place they could snuggle in the sunflowers warmed by the afternoon sun.

Once that thought crossed his mind the voice seemed to grow louder ringing with a familiarity that Akihito could finally place “Akihito, you have to come home baby, I need you.”

“Ryuichi..” Akihito whispered quietly his eyes half open the heartbeat sound seemed to grow a little stronger as if it too was perking up at the sound of Ryuichi’s voice.

Akihito tried to move but his limbs were so heavy… “Ryu, can I sleep now?”

He heard a faint sob on the wind “No sweetheart, you can’t fall asleep, please don’t go where I can’t follow you.”

Akihito’s brow furrowed he continued to stare at the sky and tried to find the energy to move, he heard a crack of lighting and felt someone else lying next to him in the sunflowers. Turning to look him he saw it was another version of himself but this Akihito had no color, his skin was nearly translucent and his hair as white as snow, this Akihito looked at him with kind grey eyes.

“He’s calling you.” The other Akihito stated quietly.

Akihito’s sighed “Who are you?”

The other Akihito laughed “I am you of course, but you knew me by a different name Death, your final defender or at least I used to be.”

Akihito hummed “That isn’t right, you’re not Death but yet you are, its strange.”

The other Akihito hummed “My name was Alaster I was your first defender until that day when you were tortured and I took your place, I was driven insane with pain.”

Akihito thought for a moment and smiled “I thought you were just an imaginary friend, but you were there weren’t you? Before I was put in the orphanage.”

Alaster nodded “Your heart begged for love when all you knew was pain and fear so it created me, but I wasn’t strong enough and it was either allow you to break or break myself.”

Akihito’s smile turned bitter for just a moment “And now in a fit of irony you spent the rest of our lives trying to destroy what you were meant to protect.”

Alaster hummed “I suppose that is one way to look at it. In the end though Death still fulfilled his purpose even if he did it the wrong ways, even if in his insanity he forgot what he was supposed to be doing.”

Akihito nodded “When I was young I gave you so much power over me without even realizing it, and now that you’ve gone insane, not even I can stop you.”

Alaster chuckled “Of course you can, but first you would have to reject him. Knowing full well that you can never be the same, that you would always feel empty. You have to either destroy him or enslave him. That is the only way.”

Akihito shook his head “I could never do that, not now that I know he is you and you are me.”

Alaster laughed “Always so innocent, then tell me Aki, do you have the strength to accept him? No matter what he does can you make a now cruel beast loyal to your light?”

Akihito smiled “I would have liked to try, but I suppose it’s too late for that isn’t it?”

Alaster shook his head “There is much that you have not been told, but I suppose you don’t need to know any longer if you are going to give up.”

Akihito lay there exhaustion pulling him and drifted off on the very cusp of sleep Alaster by his side in death as he was in life. When Akihito felt the heartbeat coming from the rose stop he gave a weak smile and knew he was fading away.

It was at this moment when even the field of sunflowers was fading that Akihito heard a wail of pure heart wrenching grief. Akihito looked weakly at Alaster “Allie who is that?”

Alaster looked at Akihito and gave him another kind smile “That’s Ryuichi Aki, he realized you don’t want to go back.”

“He’s there?” Akihito whispered Alaster nodded in reply “I guess this good night Aki.”

Alaster started to fade away but first Akihito heard him say quietly “If anyone can do it, it’s you Aki.”

Akihito’s eyebrows furrowed “How do I help him Allie?”

Alaster smiled “You’ll know when the time is right.”

The sunflower world was slowly going dark but before the world fell away Akihito whispered quietly “I want Ryu.”

 

Akihito opened his eyes in a hospital bed Ryuichi had fallen asleep in the chair beside the bed his upper body slumped onto Akihito’s lap. Akihito ran his fingers through Asami’s hair smiling at the almost innocent expression Asami wore in sleep. 

Akihito looked up when he heard someone walk into the room he smiled seeing that it was Mikhail and Dimitri, Mikhail had a hopeless expression on his face but when he saw Akihito the coffee cup in his hand fell to the floor. 

Mikhail and Dimitri ran to Akihito’s bedside Mikhail pulling him into a firm but gentle hug. “Akihito, oh god I thought I had lost you.” Mikhail whispered in his ear quietly.

Akihito hugged him tightly “I know, I’m sorry.”

Asami started to stir from all the noise so Mikhail let Akihito go when Asami saw Akihito awake he pulled him into a hug “Aki!” Asami exclaimed in a fervent whisper gently kissing Akihito on the cheeks before pulling him into a searing kiss.

Akihito felt himself relax into Ryuichi’s kisses moaning when he deepened their kiss and stole Akihito’s breath away. When they finally pulled apart   
Akihito panted quietly and said “I’ve missed you so much Ryu.”

Asami smiled and ran his fingers through Akihito’s hair “I missed you too, could you please tell me what’s going on?”

Akihito nodded “Well Ryu it all started when I was little…”


	12. How It All Began

Akihito sighed “It all started when I was little, my Mother wasn’t around and my Father was a terrible man.”

Mikhail arched and eyebrow from where he was standing next to Akihito’s bed, Akihito never talked about his life before the orphanage not even to him.  
Asami seeing that Akihito was talking about a sensitive subject held his hand tightly rubbing his thumb over the knuckles in a soothing manner. 

Akihito smiled at him before continuing “My Father was an abusive drunk, who hated me because my Mother left him for another man shortly after I was born. He used to lock me in a small linen closet whenever he had people over or he didn’t want to deal with me, if I made any noise he would beat be black and blue.”

Akihito paused swallowing thickly the memories from back then obviously painful to think about, “One day I was hungry, he liked to starve me when he thought I was being bad it had already been a few days and I was so hungry. I snuck into the kitchen to find some food while he was asleep, while I was making myself a peanut butter sandwich I dropped the knife. I remember the clang of the knife on the tile and how it echoed in the house, he flew down the stairs in a rage.”

Here Akihito seemed to hesitate his eyes bright from unshed tears. “Next thing I know I’m in the closet again and everything hurts, I later found out that he had broken my right arm in two places, dislocated my right shoulder, and broke four ribs. So there I was sitting in the dark confined closet and I just started praying, begging for help. Then in the darkness I heard this voice he said his name was Alaster and that he would protect me so I never had to be  
alone again.”

Akihito smiled and shook his head “I didn’t find out until recently that he was actually a split personality that I had created, the next morning police knock on the door the neighbor had called and said she heard me screaming. My Father had tried to tell him that he didn’t have a son but they were able to search the house, they found me laying there and barely breathing, one of the broken ribs had shifted and was centimeters away from piercing my lung.”  
Akihito sighed “When I came too I was in the hospital Miki’s father wound up getting lost while he was there visiting one of his subordinates, it was before the Arbatrov family controlled the Russian underground and they had gotten in a fire fight with the Cristini’s another mafia family. He wound up walking into my room, he had apparently been wandering around for a while because he was desperate enough to ask for directions.”

Akihito chuckled to himself at the memory “We probably made quite a pair, by the time we had found the room he was looking for I had told him how I had gotten hurt and that my Father had lost all right to me, making me an orphan. He wound up asking if I wanted to visit his friend with him and when we left he lead me back to my room, He pulled me into a hug when he left and for the first time ever I wondered if that was what having a dad would feel like…Now that I think about it that was when Little was born. The next day one of the nurses took me to the cafeteria to get some ice cream and Miki’s dad wound up getting lost looking for my room.”

Mikhail couldn’t stop his chuckle “Dad always did have a terrible sense of direction.”

Akihito nodded before continuing “When he finally tracked me down he told me that he had adopted me and I didn’t have to worry about anything ever again.”

Akihito and Mikhail smiled at each other fondly as they both remembered their dad “The next day he brought Miki to visit his new little brother and about a week later I was allowed to go home with them.”

Asami watched how close Akihito and Mikhail were and sat there in shock it had never occurred to him that Akihito might have a brother let alone be the missing Arbatrov heir.

Akihito sighed “About four years after taking me in, when I was ten and Miki was nineteen, we had another problem with the Cristini family and our dad wound up getting killed. After that Miki rallied what was left of our Father’s men and declared an all-out war on the Cristini family. Within the year the Cristini’s were dead and their men were told either join us or die.”

Mikhail ran his hand through Akihito’s hair and took over this part of the story “At first it was nearly impossible to unite the two forces, then Aki started to make himself more involved among the men and enchanted them. Whenever I had to execute a traitor he was there and it inspired the others. I made them fear me and Akihito made them love him and thus earned their loyalty. While Aki was here he granted us a golden age.”

Akihito blushed at Mikhail’s praise before turning back to the story “One day I was captured by a couple of guys hoping to get big in the Mafia, I was held for three days and tortured. They would record it and send it back to Mikhail demanding their surrender, it was during the second day that Alaster took over he realized that one of us was going to die there, so he picked him. On the dawn of the third day Death was born he killed my captors apparently he disemboweled them with a fork one had been using to eat. After that Little had taken over and I woke up two days later at the hospital that the family owned. Eventually I was able to put both Death and Little into a deep sleep where they stayed, until everything with Ryugazaki started and Little woke up because I was lonely eventually he woke up Death but Death had been driven truly crazy and without an enemy he turned on me. It didn’t take very long for him to start looking for ways to lure you to the house so he could kill you, The night before I left he texted you and was waiting to shoot you when I woke up he tried to hang me finally I decided that it would be safer if I came home.”

Asami pulled him close burying his face in Akihito’s hair tears silently sliding down his cheeks and dampening Akihito’s locks “I’m so sorry, this is all my fault. When you left I thought Ryugazaki had taken you, and I realized that he could be torturing you or raping you, you could be dead and the last thing I said to you was to leave me alone. I’d never be able to tell you I love you, or hold you close, never make love to you one last time…”

Akihito wrapped his arms around Asami his confession had brought tears to Akihito’s eyes and he shook his head before responding “It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known what was going on.”

Asami shook his head “I knew that you hated being alone and you were always calling trying to find just one spare second that I could spend with you I should have known better!”

Akihito ran his fingers through Asami’s hair and kissed his forehead gently “It’s ok love, were together again now, and this time I’m not going anywhere.”  
Asami kissed the bandages that Akihito hadn’t noticed were wrapped around his neck “The bullet grazed you throat and nicked one of the major veins, you almost bled out in my arms.” Asami whispered quietly.

Akihito hushed him gently and hugged him closer so Asami’s ear was pressed you his chest “I’m right here Asami, Can you hear my heartbeat? It means I’m right here with you and I’ll never leave you again.”


	13. We Are One

It had been two weeks since Akihito had been allowed to leave the hospital since then he had worked a few more times with Yuri but Yuri still hadn’t been able to fall into that trance like state that was needed to perform Agape. 

Death had been eerily silent since that day at the airport and Akihito now shared his room with Asami in Mikhail’s condo, Akihito was even more worried now that Death was being eerily silent sometimes when Asami and Akihito were in the same room alone Akihito could feel Death at the very edge of his mind like a dark angry cloud but he never made a move.

Akihito kept up his meditation each time reaching a hand out trying to find a harmony in himself where there was none, as time went on Akihito remembered something from when he was younger and smiled he wondered if that would help…

 

It was almost a week later that Akihito was able to put his idea into action, it was in the middle of the night and both Asami and Mikhail were asleep, Akihito quietly got out of bed and dressed to head to the rink.

When he made it there the clock read told him it was three in the morning and he used the key that Yakov gave him years ago to let himself into the building. He quickly put on his skates and headed to the middle of the rink, Akihito placed a hand over his heart and sighed “I am done fighting with you and being afraid of you it’s time we actually talked to each other don’t you think?”

Akihito closed his eyes taking deep breaths allowing himself to relax he stayed like that for a few moments feeling his concentration and perception of the things around him fade in and out as he slowly entered the trance he had been trying to teach Yuri the very last thing he did was hit the play button for the song that he had queued into the player the Sound of Silence by Disturbed began to play loudly over the speakers.

As the piano opening started Akihito stood in the middle of the rink head bowed and arms raised slightly from his sides palms out toward the stands “You will listen.” Akihito murmured then he started to move.

It started simple Akihito slowly skating forward twirling back to a stop then skating to his right slowly he picked up speed out of nowhere and leaped into a double toe loop barely landing before skating off in the other direction within moments after that he pulled his left leg up bending his head back and   
arching his spine into a Biellmann spiral. 

As Akihito skated he closed his eyes savoring the moment when he opened them again he was standing in a white room with no windows or door and standing in front of him was death. Akihito could feel that his body was still moving, could sense what moves he was making as he skated a routine that was meant to bridge the gap between him and death.

Akihito looked at Death and smiled “I’ve finally found you.”

Death arched an eyebrow “I thought that you might be enjoying the reprieve I was letting you have, but I suppose I was wrong.”

Akihito shook his head “I decided to find you so we could talk, I am tired of fighting with you, tired of being afraid of you, you are me and I am you I can’t be the only one who is tired of fighting.”

Death looked away “All I ever wanted was to keep you safe, but you wouldn’t let me so I decided to destroy those who hurt you, but then you wouldn’t even let me do that. Especially Asami Ryuichi he raped you or have you forgotten!”

Akihito shook his head “It’s true that is how we met and if we are going to speak in clear terms about it we might as well be honest, Asami raped me, Feilong raped me, and many of their enemies that have come and gone have tried to rape me. That is the truth but I think what you can’t understand is that I forgave them. I fell in love with Asami and though it took time I forgave him, a year after Hong Kong Feilong came to me and begged for forgiveness on his knees for what he had done, and I forgave him. He is now a close friend and Asami is my husband.”

Death glared at Akihito “But I never forgave them! I can never forgive them for what they’ve done!”

Akihito smiled “I know it seems like that now, and that it is partly my fault I was so intent on keeping you asleep where you couldn’t hurt people that I cut you off from my emotions and from my memories, the only ones you had access to wound up being traumatic, of course with only that frame of reference you can’t forgive them.”

Death looked down at the ground and said “I don’t think I can forgive them and if I can’t then you don’t want me anymore, so where does that leave us Aki?”

Akihito smiled “It leaves us with me dropping my shields, it will leave me defenseless against you, if you were to take over then I would never be able to surface and stop you, but it will allow you to see my life through my eyes and my emotions.”

Death looked up at Akihito in shock “You would do that, give me complete control?”

Akihito smiled “I would, because I choose to believe that I can trust you.”

Akihito reached his hand out palm extended to his counterpart “Let me show you, let me teach you how to forgive.”

Death reached out and grabbed Akihito’s hand the minute he did Akihito dropped all of his defenses and lead Death through his memories. 

Death gasped in shock he was Akihito locked in a closet begging to be let out, Death blinked and time would move. Next he was trying to sneak a sandwich he was SO hungry he thought he would surely die, then he was in the hospital and met who he would later call father, then his father was gone and he was trying to keep everyone together while Mikhail lead them to war, then he was captured and his blood was on fire, he was waking up in a hospital being told that everything was ok now, he was captured again this time everything was being hit or broken people were touching him where he didn’t want them too.   
Death dropped to his knees breaking the connection, close to hyperventilating as he truly saw the event that had led to his birth. 

Akihito knelt down beside him “It’s ok, but you need to see.” Akihito pulled him into a hug and the flashes began again.

Akihito’s first time on the ice feeling free for the first time in his life, Meeting Victor Nikiforov and finding a best friend that was nearly a brother. Inviting everyone to his birthday party, landing the jump that would later end his career, hitting the ice and feeling nothing but pain knowing something was wrong.  
The doctor telling him he could skate again but knowing that he couldn’t really go back. Moving to Tokyo, Asami was touching him but he didn’t want him too, He was captured by Feilong and Fei was touching him too but Asami came for him, Hong Kong, finding Mikhail, telling Asami he was in love with him, Asami whispering apologies after Akihito had a nightmare about him, Asami and Akihito making love and Akihito was begging to be touched, Feilong coming to Akihito in tears begging for forgiveness.

The Ryugazaki incident, the fear when he realized that Death had tried to kill him, coming home. The farther they went the faster the flashes became before finally they reached the present Death having experience every memory and emotion that Akihito had.

Death resurfaced gasping and sobbing from the emotional overload he looked up at Akihito through his tears and Akihito was just smiling at him waiting for him to calm down when Death finally did he whispered “I understand now, I’m so sorry.”

Akihito shook his head “You don’t need to apologize, I just hope that we can move past this, I want to work with you not against you. What do you say Mamoru can we be one again?”

Death looked at Akihito in shock “Mamoru?”

Akihito smiled “It means protector or guardian I think it’s much more fitting that death, don’t you?”

Mamoru smiled “I would love to stand beside you again Akihito, never again will you have to fear me.”

Akihito opened his eyes right as the song was ending his last pose being held for the final notes feeling lighter he smiled and whispered quietly “We are one.” Immediately feeling a surge of warmth and agreement from an ever watchful Mamoru.


	14. Facebook AN

Hello Everyone I decided to write this Authors Note to let all of you know that I have Facebook now and I would love for you to be my friends, I’ll post things about my stories including deleted scenes or behind the scenes that you wouldn’t find anywhere else.

You could also get to know me a little more as a person and if things go well we will be able to play my favorite game together. 

Beta Mom and I both love this game and I can think I speak for the both of us when I say we would love to get to know you better and interact with you more.

My facebook name is Yaoi Angel I’ll post the link here: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100017032148985

 

If this is something you’d be interested in please let me know what your facebook name is or send me who your fanfiction name is in messenger and I’ll accept your request.

It would definetly mean a lot but no pressure, Thanks Angel.


	15. Lovers In Paradise

Akihito walked home feeling lighter and happier than he had been in a very long time. Dawn was just beginning to break over the Russian horizon and the air was the bone chilling cold that was their winter trademark.

When Akihito finally made it home he quietly went to his room and slipped back in bed with Asami using his body heat to flush the chill from his body.

Asami jolted awake when Akihito hid his cold nose in Asami’s neck, he looked down puzzled at his younger husband “Aki, why are you so cold?”

Akihito shivered “I just got back from the rink, could you warm me up?”

Asami smiled “It would be my pleasure.” Asami kissed Akihito on the forehead and rolled on top of him surrounding Akihito in his warmth they hadn’t done anything sexual since 

Akihito left but Akihito knew Asami would be patient as long as Akihito needed him too until he earned back Akihito’s trust.

Akihito snuggled into Asami’s chest and fell asleep feeling at peace for the first time in a very long time.

 

Akihito woke up a few hours later still snuggled in Asami’s embrace, Akihito kissed Asami’s chest and quietly whispered “Ryu, are you awake?”

At first Akihito didn’t receive a response until he reached up and gently started nibbling on Asami’s ear and whispered “Ryu, I’ve missed you are you sure your asleep?”

Asami mumbled something unintelligible then opened one eye a sliver “What is it honey, is something wrong?”

Akihito shook his head “Nothing’s wrong, I was just hoping we could make love now that Miki has headed off for the office.”

Asami’s head shot up as if attached to a spring a hopeful look in his eyes “Really?” 

Akihito nodded “It’s been far too long Ryu, I want to feel you again.”

Akihito could see that Asami wanted to but something was holding him back “What about Death?” Asami murmured.

Akihito shook his head “Mamoru and I have settled our differences.”

Asami looked confused as to who Mamoru was until he translated it and understood, Asami grinned and leaned down to kiss Akihito’s neck “Then my beloved Husband, it has been far too long since I have been inside you.”

Akihito laughed which quickly turned into a moan when Asami gently started biting on his neck alternating between the sharp love bites and gentle kisses quickly turning Akihito to mush, “Ryu,” Akihito murmured as a bolt of hot lust shot down his spine.

Asami chuckled “My sweet Aki,” then took Akihito’s left nipple is his hot mouth, Akihito’s back arched and he let out a strangled moan as Asami sucked and bit gently at his nipple teasing it until it was a sensitive red peak.

While Akihito was begging for more Asami reached his right hand down and just barely ran his fingers over Akihito’s erection, his feather light touch starting at his balls and ending with a firm rub to the head, Akihito shouted hoarsely his eyes tearing up from the pleasure of being touched again after so long.

“Please Ryu, gonna cum!” Akihito hoarsely begged.

Asami gave Akihito a wicked smirk “Then cum.” Before leaning down and sucking the tip of Akihito’s dick hard.

Akihito’s whole back arched and with a strangled cry came quickly in Asami’s mouth a small line of drool escaping Akihito’s lips from where they parted.  
Asami swallowed all of Akihito’s juices then gave Akihito a searing kiss Asami’s tongue ravishing Akihito’s mouth.

Akihito panted weakly then kissed Asami’s collar bone he could feel Asami’s massive erection pressing against his thigh and smiled “Please Ryu, I want you inside when you cum.”  
Asami smiled “It would be my pleasure.”

Asami looked around the room before his eyebrows furrowed “Lube?”

Akihito thought for a moment before shaking his head “I don’t think I have any…”

Asami looked around and hummed “Then I suppose we shouldn’t continue until we get some.”

Akihito hummed then murmured “Or you could get me wet?”

Asami’s smile in response was nearly sinful, before he went back down towards Akihito’s crotch, Akihito spread his legs to give Asami more room and gasped when he felt Asami’s wet tongue slide over his hole, Asami smirked before doing it again he licked Akihito’s hole for nearly a minute leaving Akihito writhing in pleasure before gently but firmly pushing the tip of his tongue against the pucker.

Asami carefully and lovingly prepped Akihito using his tongue and fingers to rip another orgasm from Akihito’s body before he finally deemed him ready, he kissed Akihito on the lips again and whispered “Are you sure you want this Aki? Even though I prepped you it’s going to hurt without lube.”

Akihito smiled “That’s ok, I just want you.”

Asami nodded lining himself up with Akihito’s stretched hole, he laced his fingers with Akihito’s and gently began pushing forward. Akihito almost immediately scrunched his face up groaning from the discomfort Asami held his hand and kissed his neck gently rocking forward it took time but soon enough Asami was nearly half way in.

Akihito gasped “Ryu, you’re so big, it hurts.”

Asami shuddered “Would you like me to pull out.” Asami murmured trying desperately to maintain control while Akihito’s tight hot passage clenched down on his cock.

Akihito shook his head “Please don’t stop.”

Asami kept up his steady push forward until he was buried to the hilt, Akihito panting hard and tearing up from the intense and painful full feeling, but still happy to finally be one again with Asami.

The two lovers stayed like that joined but not moving until Akihito could get used to the intrusion, Asami gently wiped away Akihito’s tears and peppered his face with soothing kisses.

It took a small eternity but finally Akihito nodded his head and Asami slowly began to rock pulling out only an inch at a time before pushing back in making sure that each of his small thrusts pressed hard against that now overly sensitive bundle of nerves.

They continued like that their love making focused more on being together again at last instead of reaching climax, Asami barely moving knowing that his saliva had dried and the only thing easing away was his own pre cum knowing if he moved quickly he would probably tear his young love.

Akihito shuddered every time Asami pressed against his prostate his cock rock hard against Asami’s stomach, “Ryu, I think I’m going to come again. Are you close?”

Asami nodded “I’m almost there Aki.”

Akihito gasped as a particularly hard thrust nailed his prostate causing him to tighten down further on Asami’s cock making Asami gasp “Together.” Akihito murmured quietly.  
Asami nodded reaching down between them and rubbing Akihito’s cock Akihito arched off the bed his orgasm coming over him like a freight train and felt the wetness fill him as Asami reached Climax inside his clenching channel.

The two laid there snuggled in the others warmth and enjoying the afterglow finally feeling whole again.


End file.
